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I heard a scratching noise at the bottom of a well today.
Scared to even look I gently pulled at the rope,
A bucket now hangs
And inside is a picture of me.
The world begins to turn grey
Lost in world not of my own
My soul has been taken away
The skies are bleeding red
Our hearts are turning black
As the rain drops fall like acid to skin
I close my eyes and tell myself it’s only a dream
The difference is in my dreams my eyes show me the true monster and that monster is, me.


Happy happy joy joy

Hey guys whats going on tonight? i hope everyones having a uber awesome evening!


happy blog what makes you laugh?

Writer's Block: Marital license

Do you think a marriage license should have a renewal or expiration date, just like a driver's license?

It wouldn't be a bad idea maybe couples would stay together longer,but who wants to be married like a car payment or car license?
How do you think online dating has changed the way people meet and form relationships? Do you think it's increased or diminished the superficial emphasis placed on looks and financial status?

well, to be honest i met my bf on line on my space by accident we got to know one  another metally rather than physically, and have been together for a year, i guess with online you see the person on the inside before the looks, in the end dont girls complain that men dont like them for them but for a phisycal apperance? i support it since im in one and it is working out just fine.But I dont think it has changed regular dating people are scared of the internet, you reallydont know who your talking to, and as was i sacred  in the beging with my now bf its a diffrent world , but not so bad i guess with online dating you dig a bit deeper, and are a bit more intamite its diffrent when your not facing the person and typing.i think in a way its a bit of both it has affected but not as much because in the end a majority of us like the old fashioned way. its a tie in my eyes lol xoxox


through the hallway i weap
afraid of the monster within in me
voices i hear whisper awful things to me
i know in my heart to walk away
but the urge in my veins commits me to stay
if you listen close you can hear the dripping
of the blood flow down the stairs
the scent of blood begins to grow strong
im beging to end up right where i began
i didnt mean to do it i didnt mean to hurt him so
but the thought of revenge just made my heart  begin to glow
the things that he had done to me
not being able to sleep at night
tossing and turning , knowing there in
my doorway he would lingerd and watch
when i saw him an urge of hate
raptured my body, after years of not
seeing the man that had taken my innocense
the feelings come back like daggers to heart
there he was him and i , in the kitchen
between a knife i said hello grandpa and stabbed
him nine times , i didnt mean to do it the voices
in my head told me to do it
there he laid covered in his own shame
but me i stood there feeling nothing but the same
bitter alone and cold, so i walked to the wash room crying with fright
what had i done so i took my own life


Its sad the shadows thet they
fall beneath in ,
young souls
with no determination nor goals set in their lives,
wandering the halls that begin to
glow dimmer as the time passes by,
there is no light at the end of their tunnel;
there is only misery and suffering  for these unwanted souls,
As they linger in the  shadows
of people things and creatures,
that alone they will always be skimming through the woods haunted
as the moon sets in the sky
they will look into the water and see a reflection
broken shattered tossed into a sea of lies
they will always be there with their glass  half full 
 beginig to go on empty ,
eyes glaze transparent like their hearts
frozen in snow
 no life no soul
as the night begins to grow darker they begin
to get colder anger and resentment its what they
thrive on , one day they will see the dissapointment they have shown
and the lives that they themselves have destroyed


Sometimes i lay in the dark and close my eyes
and once the black cloud of fog fills up
my mind i begin to get racing images of you
once you to laid in this bed with me
whispered soft sweat nothings into my ear,
held my face as i cried and kissed me
gently on the lips, with your eyes full
of love and passion you always knew how to make me smile
though I never knew what you were thinking
your face showed the pain you were feeling
but no matter how hard i tried
 the harder it was to get inside
as our time came to an end the paths that we made began
to burn an orangy fire of rage, the stories we created
the fantasys we lived in
our mind all came crashing down
to this momment
this point in time,
the world began to rumble the heavens began to water
your life was now over
 and i right back were it had started ,in my bed
alone in solitude wishing that somehow the world didnt have to take you
maybe if i cried enough the tears the agony could bring you back to me
now the days seem slow the nights even longer my sould much more duller
without your eyes to make me smile, i am now alone without you im
incomplete nothing feels like home just pure nothingness of the soul

No Name

the last time i felt
i was shot by the venom from
the tranqulizers men and women in white
had given me
a ghostly feeling haunting me
wet and cold laying in a bed
sourrounded by knives and masks
the lights so bright i cant make out faces or shapes
my eyes they begin to see double
my vision hazy not making any sense to the human eye
lay a hand and mark me bitter so pale and white
forget the day i only seek of night
whats rage when you have nothing to fight?
laid in hallways to sick to die
no one see's me its how its been all my life
the shadows know me they know my eyes
they show me windows to open worlds
where pepole have  eyes that are black and mouths are swean shut
i look  around and hunt the ends to far and wide
i stop the bleeding its soaks inside
a twister hallway take me back to light
where cuts are made and voices wont be heard


sweet sorrow come visit me
alone  i stand  before this
empty sea, the seagulls fly
the oceans cry, i stare into
the horizon with hope of
a new tomorrow, pondering
my life, i question all that I am,
the winds set in, the waves they
crash onto rocks like the way my heart did
the day it  went numb, what is it to love?
to feel the presence of a life familiar to my own
is there someone out there
alone and just as tormented as the bottom
bitterless sea...



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December 2011